Below is the summary of the study on upbringing humble children.
Original full article link provided at the end.
Summary:.
“If you feel the love in your home, you don’t look for it anywhere else.”
Do you want to raise children who have a sense of purpose and an awareness of Allah in everything they do.
Do you want your children to fear and love Allah.
Do you want children who burst into tears when they realize that his mother had neglected to wake him up for the Fajr prayer.
Do you want to make your home life full of energy and activity.
What kind of qualities do you want to pass on to your own kids.
How to reflect on the fact that, Children learn from what their parents do, not just what they say.
Children really are like sponges; they soak in everything around them.
Children are constantly learning from their parents, even when the parents don’t think they have anything to teach.
Kids want their parents to set limits and be authority figures, even if they won’t admit it.
Weakness in those who are supposed to be in a position of authority only invites contempt.
It is important to communicate your expectations to your kids.
Every time you hit your kids, you have to keep upping the levels (level of hitting/beating). Thus hitting for no reason or silly reason will not work.
Children are little people with little hearts and they need to be treated with dignity and respect so that their feelings aren’t hurt.
Understand that there’s a fine line between nagging and teaching, between being judgmental and being perceptive.
To compensate for the things that we won’t buy, we should give them something that’s free yet still very valuable — our time.
Talk, talk, talk to your kids! Even if they don’t say anything, believe me, they’re listening!.
Mold your children so that they will always remember their root values once they’re out on their own.
“A person is known by who their friends are. Don’t ever assume that you are better than your friends. No! You are who your friends are.”
The surrounding environment of children is important. “When you sit with people of the dunya, you become a drop in their ocean, but when you sit with people of the akhira, the dunya becomes a drop in your ocean.”
Extended family also influences children. Children usually follow their older cousins’ footsteps.
One father says, “I firmly believe that no friends are better than bad friends, but I did go the extra mile to make sure that my kids did have friends (Good friends) with whom they connected.”
“On the Day of Judgment, you’ll be standing with the ones you loved most in the dunya,”
Children should be taught the seerah (biography of the Prophet (S.A.W)). If your kids love the Prophet (S.A.W), they will automatically love Allah.
Influences of TV:
One scholar says,
“If Shaytan (Satan) were to ring our doorbell and ask if he could come in and babysit our children, we would throw him out, yet we allow the television set to do exactly that…we literally invite Shaytan in when we turn the TV on!"
One scholar says,
“If Shaytan (Satan) were to ring our doorbell and ask if he could come in and babysit our children, we would throw him out, yet we allow the television set to do exactly that…we literally invite Shaytan in when we turn the TV on!"
It’s important to replace every haraam you stop your child from with at least two halaals they can enjoy.
Make your home environment caring, where children can relax and feel cherished, where they can practice their religion without feeling apologetic or alien.
Our litmus test was always ‘Would we be ashamed if the Prophet (s.a.w) were to walk into our house right now? Is there anything we would want to hide?
Give your children responsibilities at home. Having responsibilities, even if they are small tasks inculcates in children a sense of contribution and chivalry.
Praise becomes “cheap” when it is given for that which children have no control over; kids should have to “earn” the praise that comes their way.
The grown children remember their father’s integrity and quiet examples long after they have entered parenthood on their own, voluntarily choosing to mold their own lives in honor of a man who didn’t force his way of life down their throats when they were younger.
There is great comfort in knowing that parents will be rewarded not for how our children “turn out” but for the intentions we had while raising them, for the steps we took to facilitate their deeni success.
Eventually, we can do as much as we can; we need to submit to Allah’s will.